Headship - another distracted hunt for causes ?

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and what we can do about it    ABCTV July 2017

I never like arguments that use exceptions to try to break the rule - this is the sort of time wasting sub science nonsense we often get from the naysayers and cynics all around us and that  the ABC specialize in . In these matters they often talk science but don't do science 

While I am all for reviews of what causes DV I am against much hunting down in exceptional causes . So I am cynical of what single Julia Baird  is doing here- was her dad in charge of the house for example?  Lets be practical and political( how the disease affects MOST people)  here too

I think most people and reasonably successful  families ( I can't claim perfection ) support overall the idea of headship in families ( don't be too shocked )

Time for a reassessment people . A single woman running a simple old line against headship that hasn't provided a working alternative .Cummon tell me!
 Most thinking Muslim women have no problem with headship. Western Women are converting to be under headship. Reality therapy required? Real causes analysis required .

While you lovely strong women are rightly afraid of the male pulling this trick  when it suits him , do you want the little boy to go absent on you ? Is there a better way to keep order in the house ? ( I think its possible that headship arguments can and have gone to our XY heads  so I don't claim its perfect - just the most reasonable and workable arrangement on the surface.)

It's not a perfect choice,  but is it the better of the options available?  Would you XX's prefer if  Paul said "husbands obey your wives"  or alternatively said "you must in submission to each other" ( the big picture command that's clearly dominant in Paul's writings about marriage ) decide each dispute on its merits. Really ? 

W e must ,unlike what Julia has done by focusing on exceptions,   remember Paul himself was dealing with exceptions and difficulties when he reminded them of the bottom line . We must see every problem in its context and stop trying to solve every one by rule alone  -DV is very widespread and one main  key driver to its growth is IMO poor anger management.  see other links .

Context for the command : These were strong wonderful women who had come to see that they had unmet leadership ambitions in their relationships with men and their world. Paul says to my mind . The rule is not perfect but it works to have one who thinks and appears to be in charge . Use your brains ( you now know this )  in relationships.  Its not all about brute power ( Romans 12) Use your renewed minds to get things done.

Think more broadly for your own safety . With this shallow One cause and One effect logic about one correlation there is a risk you will ignore other good reasons for the rule .

Take the critical questions of order and objectivity  Take the way we rune
meetings . We appoint a head . by having a head doesn't neccesarily mean he /she rules.
For your own safety dont play pedant here .

Why would not good order try to not bring some objectivity from outside when it on his mind and not yours ?( or vice versa you tell him cause " he thinks he;s responsible"

the rule context is about order and getting somewhere more  easily before the day ends as  neither party are perfect in understanding or appreciation. Two minds are better than one and this is proven way to encourage respect and efficiency in listening and decisionmaking . 

If you have to have a choice ( I think this is critical) is it better in your experience if the boy thinks he is in charge?

Is he better present and heard than absent because in  a fair fight (eg  when their are no children) we males all know who usually wins.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and what we can do about itI too am concerned about the growing incidence of domestic violence in families but this chasing after exceptions to find causes is going to distracting and unproductive . The evidence that church teaching is not helping is against the evidence.At least when they go to church and hear peoples situation is not so easily " covered up" ( that i unconvincing suggestion from left field) When did you last seek to intervene in someones elses domestic tensions? Maybe you talked about them but just because you are leader does it mean you " covered the issues up".


A better and more concise summary of the context of male abuse of the privelege was given here .https://www.facebook.com/NewsWeekly.NCC/

There is obviously a lot more to talk about  about the paradoxes in marriage and familiy , Drivers and deliberations  Feedback welcome 


As a highly reactionary cynical and sub scientific family the ABC keep making basic context mistakes when seeking to promote change as the source of all that is good . ( note most thinking Muslim women have no problem with headship  so is the ABC's sense of  consensus really highlighting increasing confusion in their ranks about what works .Maybe the reactionaries have thrown something good out with the bathwater 
While we are a long way from convincing the fearful women in our community who have grown up with ABC fear that headship can be good . Julia Baird's long winded wanderings on when it can be bad highlight how much lack of focus on real problems the ABC has.